capri0mni | Recent Entries

My Biases:

Here are some aspects of my identity that have the most weight when it comes to which directions my thoughts tend to swerve in:

I was born with a physical disability that affects how I move through the world.

The relative importance of this fact varies from day to day and hour to hour, but it's the thing that I've been living with the longest, and it's the thing new people notice first.

Because I can't take moving through the world for granted, I am almost always looking at the spaces between things, both literally, and metaphorically; I believe this is where my love of the liminal spaces of fairy tales, and dreams comes from.

I am White. I am Cisgender. I am American. My first language is English. I was raised as a Christian. If I get careless with my privilege in any of these areas, please remind me.

I've reached the age where nearly everyone on the Internet strikes me as being young, tender babes. And I want to protect ~~them all~~ most of them.

I am asexual and aromantic, and there are several other "micro-labels" to describe my various orientations; I consider myself Queer.

I am a confirmed Atheist. I got there after being Neo-Pagan for many years. The reasons I left Christianity are different than the reasons I left Neo-Paganism.

In July 2021, with the help of several people from the Disability Community on Tumblr (some of whom wished to remain anonymous), I redesigned a Disability Pride Flag, and entered it into the Public Domain:

The "Straight Diagonal" version of the Disability Pride Flag, entered into the public domain 2021

I also spend a lot of time on Tumblr. My blog is here: capricorn-0mnikorn

What you'll find here:

This journal is random, overall. I generally post whatever's on my mind, especially contemplative and/or silly. Favorite topics include literature, discoveries in science and nature, writing that I'm working on (or should be working on), drawings I've doodled, etc.

Politics is relatively rare, but it does come up, especially in the context of history. Like my body, my politics leans heavily to the Left...

What counts as "Good Manners" around here:

Don't be mean. There's no need to be mean. Remember, wherever you go, there you are.
Praise what you enjoy before criticizing what you don't.
When you do give criticism, let it be reasoned ("It sucks!" doesn't cut it).
Don't belittle, or mock, people for the things they enjoy.
If you must post provocative things, aim for provoking laughter, and provoking thought.
Remember that anger can splash onto innocent bystanders, and people "reading over your shoulder." If you must have an argument with someone in particular--rather than an argument for or against an idea--take it to private message (click [inbox] in the header), please.
When in doubt, puns.

One: I've (figuratively) fallen down with

storywrights (with "Resolution to write," at least). First, I failed to keep up posts on schedule when I didn't any replies/participation. And second, I (re)discovered that I just don't have the brain power / stamina to generate original narratives while also trying to balance and hold myself upright in my chair (and my wheelchair back has been broken for over two years -- it's stuck in a semi-reclined position, and the company no longer makes this model of chair, so I can't get it replaced). For a while I was beating myself up for being lazy / not even trying to extend my attention span. Then, I remembered that back when I was a teenager, I couldn't walk on my crutches and maintain a conversation at the same time, either. I think my muscle coordination activity and "generate spontaneous language" activity are trying to drive on the same roads, so to speak. And this is yet another reminder that cerebral palsy is also a form of neurodiversity.

If I work out a way to give myself upright back support, it just feels like the bottled-up stories would come flooding out of me...

2: But I think I'm on to something with my idea of "Plot modules," though:

Situation → Disruption → Reaction → Consequence → | (New Situation)

I only managed to write out five of them for the whole of the six weeks I'd planned for "Resolution to Write," but using this outline form helped me realize that, in the past, when I've had problems with a story faltering, and getting (metaphorically) stuck in the mud, it was because I'd been writing a character's reactions without being clear (even to myself) about what disruption they were reacting to. Which, in turn, made the consequence muddy, which made it hard to shift to a new situation.

III: I think one reason I'm "meh," or "uncommitted" to my gender (even though I'm cis) is because, in this culture, your gender expression is judged as a success or failure based on how sexually and/or romantically attractive you can make yourself to the persons of your choice. And I Do Not Want to be either sexually or romantically attractive to other people. [/aroace things; annual Valentine's Day rant]

The Next to Last: "Grain Free," "Paleo-Friendly" Granola is not actually granola. It does make a good trail mix, however.

Fifth: (this came to me while writing all of the above): I think why I have no trouble writing Dreamwidth and Tumblr posts and replies while trying to hold myself upright and type, but my brain nopes out while I'm trying to write fiction w/o back support is the same reason I couldn't hold a spontaneous conversation and walk on crutches at the same time:

Having a spontaneous conversation with another person takes at least an order of magnitude more mental energy than monologuing (or talking to yourself). This is a written monologue (so is a poem, or an essay). Writing a fictional story is closer to having a spontaneous conversation with your characters (and the world they're in).

...Anyway. Just a thought...

1) A recent dream I had: ( If this scene were in a movie, it would be universally panned as unsubtle and tone deaf )

2) There's much talk, in recent news (at least, on NPR), of how the political upheaval in France, South Korea, Germany, and Syria, are all connected in a web of general Global Populism. What I've not heard much about is how the murder of the United Healthcare C.E.O. is also part of this great wave. Sure, he wasn't Technically part of a national government, but considering how much power corporate conglomerates have over the daily lives of U.S. citizens, he may as well have been.

3) On a happier note (unintended pun), this video was in my recommendations, this morning:

Watch on YouTube

( Lyrics )

4) Speaking of spinning yarns, I recently watched another video (It's (still) okay to lie to your kids about Santa) about studies that show, at a certain age, children learn to look for evidence to back up the stories their parents (and their societies) tell them. But they're less likely to learn that skill if they are protected from untruths at all costs. And that got me thinking two things:

So never letting your kids be exposed to fictional stories has a similar negative effect on their intellectual health as never letting your kids be exposed to dirt has on their physical health (they can't build up a healthy resistance to 'infection')?
So (in general) at what age do kids learn the distinction between manipulative lies and playful stories?

5) Subtle sign of my culture's amatonormativity: Recently had cause to call for a heating tech to come figure out why my heater wasn't responding to the thermostat (It turns out, someone had flipped the emergency switch that shuts off the heater, and I'd forgotten that switch existed; it's around a corner that's hard to get to in my chair), and I called the company whose name is on my thermostat cover. When I gave the address to the receptionist, she asked if I were Mrs. Ann [Last Name]; I (while sighing internally at the assumption that all adults of a certain age must be married) answered: "Not 'Mrs.,' but yes."

Current Mood: curious

I've been busy kneading

storywrights into shape. So far, I'm the only member.

Check it out, maybe?

The community calendar for "Resolution to Write" has the colors of the Bi Pride flag (in the first Sticky Post). That was unplanned.

Still Dithering in my head about creating an alternative writing challenge to NaNoWriMo. I mentioned on Tumblr that I'm thinking of starting a Dreamwidth community for it, and this week, that post is one of the ones that has gotten the most attention. So I hope that will bring fresh people here.
One of the new media I've been following, sideways-like, is the anime/manga One Piece, which I stumbled into though an English-Translation cover of one of the series's main diagetic songs. I still haven't watched a whole episode, or read any of the manga, proper. But I'm loving watching reviews and character critiques on YouTube. It's like auditing an English (and Japanese) literature class from half-way through the semester.
I recently checked the status of my poetry chapbook, The Monsters' Rhapsody: Disability, Culture, & Identity (2016), over on Lulu.com, and discovered that the default list price was too low to cover printing and shipping costs for international markets, so for the Canadian Dollar, Australian Dollar, British Pound, and Euro, I've set the price at 0.03 above the minimum; for the U.S., version, I've set it at 0.55 above the minimum. Watch this space for when it's available. (if I succeed in writing what's in my head during my NaNoWriMo alternative, which is prose fiction, instead of poetry, I may publish it through Lulu again).
I've been thinking about disability and parasocial relationships. (1) How Normate people in "mainstream society" have an automatic parasocial relationship with disabled people (visibly disabled people at least) because of how we are used as tropes in popular culture (especially around Halloween and Christmas), so when they see a disabled person in real life, they assume a familiarity that doesn't exist. (2) The relationship with a hired personal care aide is very intimate and very real, and actually social on one hand, but on the other, the person who is your aide can be fired by the parent agency -- or quit -- without any say from you. So is the relationship really what it seems to be?
October 1 was the 28th anniversary of me living in this house, and I still feel out of sync with the changing seasons in Virginia, vs. the seasons in northern New Jersey & southern New York. Maybe it's like a duckling imprinting on the first creature it sees upon hatching? That it's my first experiences of the seasons, as an infant, and young child that remains throughout my life? One thing I have noticed is that I'm craving sweet desserts more after dinner, than I did in the summer. Maybe that's a response to shorter days, and less light?

Current Mood: thoughtful

One: Right now, I'm aiming for a 6-week challenge: From January 2 to February 13: The dullest of doldrums times in my particular culture. Also, I've heard that it takes six weeks of steady practice to get a habit rooted.

Two: Word count be damned. Instead, I'm thinking along the lines of "A Plot Chain Unit A Day": Situation -> Disruption -> Reaction -> Consequence. Start the next day with New Situation. That might be covered in 300 words, or it might take 1,000. If you don't have all the words in your brain (or time in your day), jot down the synopsis. As with NaNoWriMo, if you're on a roll, you can always write more.

Three: (Because, I, personally, need to be be connected to other people, as well as a schedule, to keep on track) Schedule in periodic breather days (every 3 days? once a week?) for getting feedback on knotty plot units, with a willing partner(s). That partner might also be writing (in which case, you'd trade) but they don't have to be -- they could just be your "sounding board." Breather Days could also be used for going back and filling in synopses, if need be.

(NaNoWriMo's culture of "Never look back, never pause, just throw as many words on the page as you can, regardless of what those words mean," is ultimately what always led to my mental and emotional burnout by the end of November)

There is no fixed word count for success. The point is to finish a satisfying story.

Whatcha think?

Current Mood: hopeful

My last attempt at anything related to NaNoWriMo was in 2020, when I quit halfway through, realizing that a mad word count dash a) resulted in nothing more useful than a long word salad, and b) was bad for my mental health. On the other hand, attempts to write completely independently, in the years since, without being accountable to anyone else, has led to me simply not writing.

My most productive writing (and my highest quality writing) has been done in a social setting, be that academically (college & university writing workshops), when I was writing with The Art Garden (a "literary magazine for the stage"), and the brief period when I was writing original fairy tales on commission (before I realized I couldn't manage making it a business).

I'd just about forgotten about NaNoWriMo, until I saw a post on Tumblr about their stance on A.I., and got all nostalgic about the good side of social writing. So: Poll Time:

Poll #31889 So, About NaNoWriMo...

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 11

View Respondents

Have you been part of NaNoWriMo in the past?

View Answers

I've watched from the sidelines
5 (50.0%)

I've signed up/registered, but never got around to writing much
1 (10.0%)

I've tried to win, but never did
2 (20.0%)

I've "Won" (written 50K words in 30 days) at least once, but never did anything with my draft
2 (20.0%)

I've revised my NaNo draft(s) with an eye toward publishing
0 (0.0%)

I've published my NaNo novel
0 (0.0%)

Are you planning on taking part in NaNoWriMo this year (2024)?

View Answers

I wasn't, but now that you've reminded me, I think I will
0 (0.0%)

I was, but after they published their stance on A.I. (Scandal with their forums in '23 / scandal with vanity presses in '22), I won't.
1 (9.1%)

No, but I wasn't going to anyway
10 (90.9%)

Yes. I've been looking forward to it; this is about me, regardless of them
0 (0.0%)

Will you join me in *My*NoWriMo, in January, 2025 (for a more personal, but still structured, challenge)?

View Answers

Let's parallel play with words!
0 (0.0%)

Let's give each other feedback on scenes / paragraphs as we go
0 (0.0%)

I'll cheer you on from the sidelines
6 (54.5%)

I'll be busy with my own things. You do you.
3 (27.3%)

No, but I'll be interested in the final product
3 (27.3%)

Ticky-Box!!
7 (63.6%)

I clicked on a YouTube video from a channel called "Nerdy Novelist," titled Why the argument "AI is Stealing" is irrelevant.

I watched it through, hoping he'd eventually get to a better argument against AI (Curious to see if he'd have the same different arguments that I've thought up).

But nope.

His only argument was that tech companies are writing better programs, so they can create "synthetic" training data sets, so they don't have to scrape copyrighted material for their large language models. And someday, book publishers will put compensation clauses into their contracts with writers. And if the computer in your mom's basement is powerful enough, no one will be able to sue you for copyright infringement.

As an example, he said he'd soon be able to user generative AI to write an entire novel in the style of Brandon Sanderson without his permission, 'cause you can't copyright a style (and no one can pinpoint Sanderson's style anyway).

And that was the whole video.

And the comment section was filled with tech-bros talking about how the people who are against AI (especially writers* who are against AI) are fools who are just purists and elitists.

I almost replied with a rant of my own about how "Legal" is not the same as "Ethical," but decided to type all this out here, instead.

*Specifically the writers from NaNoWriMo who are complaining.

Current Mood: aggravated

Thanks to the entity now embracing A.I. as a "Tool."

(After looking back at my stats).

There were a couple years where I tried to do multiple challenges in a year, burning out, not participating, and then coming back.

According to my profile, there, I started 19 distinct projects, between the November marathon proper and "Camp NaNoWriMo," with a total of 605K-and-a-bit words typed out. My last registered project was in 2020. I did not reach 50K that year; I think it was about that time that I realized simply typing 50k words at breakneck speed did not lead to crafting a story I actually still wanted to tell, come December (what really kept me coming back, over and over in spite of that, was the social permission to make a pillow fort out of an imaginary world, where I could retreat from seasonal attitudinal depression, and other pressures; Pillow forts aren't meant to be permanent).

Back when I started, in 2005, NaNoWriMo was a much different beast than it is now... There were no corporate sponsors, and the only prize you could claim was a winner's T-shirt. And the social vibe was a lot more like the spontaneous writers' communities that sprung up on old school Bulletin Board Systems, IRC chat rooms (remember those?), and Usenet forums.

(All of which I miss, BTW)

Last week, sometime, there was a poll on Tumblr asking if folks: "if you were put in charge of Doctor Who, would you make your [Original Character] canon?"

And at first, I thought of Eloise, the Pro-fun Troll, which I created for the Usenet Doctor Who Groups, and my answer to that poll, for her, was "No," because over the three years I was active in those fora, she'd grown an entire backstory and culture and worldbuilding that was only connected to Doctor Who by a thread thinner that a single strand of spider silk, and she* was, in actuality, always an Independent Character.

And That reminded me of the original novel(la) I'd started to write for her, some [*counts on fingers*] 18-something years ago (I'd gotten as far as Chapter Five out of many [unknown] more).

I'd lost the draft chapters of that work from the hard drive of my personal computer, but I remembered posting them to my LiveJournal, which I then imported over here to Dreamwidth. And I felt the need to hunt them down and retrieve them.

In so doing, I was reminded of conversations I've had here. And how much I wanted to get back to them.

In the meantime, I've given myself other prose fiction projects to work on, which I've been struggling with over the last year and three quarters:

An original fairy tale, with fairy tale logic and magic, whose protagonist has recognizably real-world Cerebral Palsy (though not named as such, in the story), and
Expanding/polishing/refining/tightening my short story retelling of The Frog King by the Brothers Grimm, and maybe self-publishing it in physical form, so I can have it on my bookshelf, and/or loan and give to others.

*Along with "Co-Hosts" I created to help her out during the parties.

Back when I was a senior in college (back in the mid-to-late 1980s), I actually wrote a fantasy novel for kids aged ~8 - ~11 (in a self-designed course for a single credit, under the guidance of my Literature advisor), inspired by a series of dreams and recurring characters that showed up in them.

My advisor encouraged me to try and get it published. And so, I arranged with teachers from my old school to have a class of 30 or so 10 year-olds beta read it, and give me feedback for revisions. The kids also encouraged me to try and publish it.

So I did.

Now, back then, there was no "Self Publishing." The closest thing was "Vanity Publishing," where you would pay 100% of the publishing cost of your book, which would be printed in hard copy, for the benefit of having 500 -1,000 books shipped to your personal address, which you were then responsible for storing and selling out of the trunk of your car in a parking lot, somewhere. And if word got out that you were trying to claim credit for being a "published author" because of a Vanity Press book, actual publishers wouldn't touch you with a 40-foot pole.

If you wanted to get published, you had to buy that year's copy of Writer's Market: a listing of magazine and book publishers, and agents, with a brief description of what material they published, and what they wouldn't touch.

Guess what genre no agent or publisher was interested in handling?

That's right, Gentle Readers: Fantasy for children aged 8 - 11. I would have happily sent out a dozen queries for each story I wrote, if there were publishers and agents willing to look at them. But for three to four years of trying, in directories of two-columns of tiny print, and several hundred pages long, I'd be lucky to find two or three outlets even willing to look at fantasy for kids.

The general consensus, across the publishing business, was that fantasy was a dead and obsolete genre. If it was for kids old enough to read chapter books and novels, it must also be firmly grounded in realism and actual history, because everyone knows the only people buying books for kids that age were teachers, who wanted stories with practical applications in the classroom.

***

After 3 - 4 years of trying, while I was in grad school, I finally got a rejection from the one agent who agreed to read my novel. A few days later, I received news that my mother had died from the breast cancer she'd been fighting, and my heart just went out of the project altogether.

A few years later, the first Harry Potter book was published. And it became a worldwide phenomenon. And it was the kids, themselves, who were driving the sales.

See, I think the real reason the books were such a success, even though they were never really very well written, was because they were in a genre the audience was hungry for -- a genre they'd been denied access to for all of their young lives.

Someone who is starving will think even moldy bread is delicious.

I've been spending more time on Tumblr instead of here, mostly because there are more people there, and the things I have to say about disability and queer rights can reach a much bigger audience. Also, the structure of Tumblr encourages multiple short posts a day on a regular schedule... And once I got into such a schedule it's hard for me to break out of it.

But a recent post on Tumblr has got me feeling nostalgic for my days around here. So I'm making a concerted effort, starting now, to weave this Journal back into my schedule.

According to my calculations, with the help of Wikipedia, I figure I’ve traveled (roughly) 54,520,000.000 kilometers (33,872,000.000 miles) around the sun, while the Sun has gone 402,674,976,000 kilometers (250,210,629,921 miles) in its journey around our galactic center.

Good thing I’m sitting down. I might get dizzy, otherwise.

Wonder what the next leg of this journey will bring.

(Cross-posted to

queerly_beloved)

Preface:

Not much more to say, here, except: Besides giving me a chance to write a more believable (to me) "And they fell in love, and were happy ever after" resolution, this exercise also gave me a chance to write more believable consequences for what happens when the singular head of government is thrown out of commission by a magic spell for a generation (or four -- I'm still haunted by the implications of Sleeping Beauty).

Also, in the original, we never know who "Iron Heinrich" is, or why he has that nickname, or why he shares the status of titular character, until the penultimate full paragraph of the story -- at the very beginning of a very ordinary journey to the king's palace, at a very ordinary pace. What could be a big, dramatic, moment is, instead, lumped in with the denouement.

I realized it would make more sense, from the characters' own point of view, if that moment came at the end of a long, extraordinary, journey (which also gave the two people at the center of the story actual time to become emotionally closer)

Where we left off:

When Heinrich came, at last, to say that it was time to go, the linden branch was no longer in his buttonhole. And the slightest of smiles passed between master and servant.

( Under the Linden Tree, Part 5/5 (1,529 words) )

--End--

Here's the paragraph that inspired much of this story, from the Wikipedia article Lime Tree (aka Linden Tree) in Culture > Germanic Mythology (Which I looked up because I was curious as to why the Linden Tree was called out by name in my Grimm source):

Originally, local communities assembled not only to celebrate and dance under a linden tree, but to hold their judicial thing meetings there in order to restore justice and peace. It was believed that the tree would help unearth the truth. Thus the tree became associated with jurisprudence even after Christianization, such as in the case of the Gerichtslinde, and verdicts in rural Germany were frequently returned sub tilia (Unter der linden) until the Age of Enlightenment.

And from the Wikipedia article on the Lime (Linden) Tree, I learned that they can live up to 2,000 years old (!), and can be propagated by cuttings.

So, I kinda had to make those things into plot points, didn't I?

BTW, Here's a illustration of a mature Linden from 1840.

(Cross-Posted to

queerly_beloved)

Preface:

In that same, later, reread of the Grimm "House and Children's Tale" #1, where it dawned on me that the princess is both child-coded and objectified, I also noticed that (other than what the enchanted king says at the end) There. Is. No. Witch. in the Story. And, furthermore, what actually breaks the spell is access to human spaces, which the king cannot get for himself without help. It therefore works, for me, as a clear disability analog.

So, in this retelling, I've decided to make the lack of a witch explicit, to get away from the trope that Disability is always a punishment, or that there's always some specific person or event to "Blame" for it (hello, anti-vaxxers, I'm looking at you, and the toxic positivity people, you, too).

Where we left off:

No sooner were they back in the carriage than the coachman cracked his whip, and they sped off at an almost unnatural speed, the horses in full gallop before they even had taken three strides at a trot. The landscape outside the windows was nothing but a blur.

"Heinrich!" the young king called, "Must you drive with such haste?"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty," his servant called back. "But if we do not pass through the Capital's gate by sunset, all is lost."

( Under the Linden Tree, Part 4/5 (1,492 words) )

(Back to part 3)

(This post is cross-posted to

queerly_beloved)

Preface:

The Grimm tale I'm using as my source material for this retelling comes to a quick end after the king regains his human shape, and the princess is instantly happy to marry him at that point (even though she was filled with murderous rage less than a minute before). And from my aromantic/asexual perspective (and, to be fair, probably, my expectations as a reader of modern fiction), that's skipping past the most interesting part:

How do you get from "stranger" to "you disgust me!" to "maybe you're lovable, after all," when good looks are not enough to spark an initial attraction?

So this is the point where the story starts to veer off the most from the original, as I try to plot and then connect all the dots.

I made a conscious decision to use the archaic English You/Thou distinction, and not just because it's old-timey sounding. "You" (or Ye) is plural, and it's also used for people of higher rank than the speaker (it's the second person pronoun version of the Royal "We"). "Thou" is singular, and used for people of equal or lower rank -- and it's also used as term of endearment for loved ones and family. So it can be either an insult or an attempt at kindness, depending on who is saying it to whom.

And that got me thinking of how the youngest princess would have heard the differences between You and Thou. As a the daughter of the king, probably all of the courtiers, and servants in court (except for her immediately family) would have addressed her with "You." And she would have used "Thou" with everyone except visiting monarchs. But because she's the youngest daughter, she also knows that realpolitik means her father could marry her off to a baron or a knight if a treaty required it. So her sense of authority over her own life is wobbly.

(She uses "you" with the frog from the very beginning, because she realizes that magic is in play, there may be fae involved, and it's better to be safe than sorry)

Where we left off:

Her lady-in-waiting opened the door and poked her head around. "Good morning, Your Highness--" Her eyebrows rose barely a hair, and she (almost invisibly) mouthed: "frog?"

The princess bit her lip to keep from laughing at the absurdity. "Good morning, Margarete. Is breakfast ready?"

"Yes, Your Highness. His Majesty waits on you." She curtsied quickly and backed out the door.

The young king tugged at his sash, smoothing wrinkles that weren't there. "Well," he said, "they're expecting us, though probably not like this." He offered her his arm.

After a moment's hesitation, she took it.

( Under the Linden Tree, Part 3 (1,466 words) )

(Back to Part 2)

(This post is cross-posted to

queerly_beloved)

Preface:

Back in 2012, when I was first exploring the cultural link between concepts of the monstrous, and cultural attitudes toward disability (and queerness),

spiralsheep (no longer online) pointed me to a Master's thesis: "When a Knight meets a Dragon Maiden:
Human Identity and the Monstrous Animal Other," by Lydia Zeldenrust, and published online at Academia.Edu. Quote:

In general, the dragon maidens can be divided into two groups: the first is a rather large group in which the dragon maiden is waiting to be freed from her spell by means of a Perilous Kiss and then turns back into a human, the second group deals with a woman who turns into a half-dragon or serpent at specific times and is not to be seen by her husband in this state, but when this does happen she eventually becomes the animal.

And this was living in my head for several years before it clicked that all of the royal frog-man stories are basically gender-flipped versions of the Dragon Maiden tales.

The whole point of these encounters, according to Zeldenrust, was for the knight to recognize the human that is trapped inside the dragon form, and not to be confused into thinking its an actual dragon that needs to be killed. This is how they prove their right to the Divinely Ordained Social Privilege, somewhere between kings and angels.

(When I read that, all those encounters I'd had, where normate people said: "Oh, but I don't see you as Disabled, I see you as Human!" -- while I'm sitting in front of them in my wheelchair -- suddenly made sense: They're all white-knight wannabes, reassuring themselves that they've earned their normate privileges)

The problem with the Grimm Brothers' version of the story, though, is that the princess never recognizes the frog king as human until after he loses his frog-shaped body, and therefore (according to chivalric tradition) doesn't deserve her happy ending.

So I tweaked the spell, just a bit, so that it's reciprocity between human beings that breaks the spell, rather than simply sharing physical space with the most beautiful person ever.

Where we left off:

As if struck by a sudden thought, he turned to the frog tucked under the princess's arm, and said, with a grand sweep of his arm: "It would be a great honor to me, Sir Frog, if you would stay, and be my daughter's special guest at dinner, tonight."

Her two elder sisters, bringing up the rear of their little parade, giggled behind their hands.

The frog shifted his weight under her arm and opened his mouth as if to speak. But in the end, said nothing.

Galantha was ready to object on his behalf, and her own. But her father looked her in the eye with a frown, daring her to disobey his wishes a second time that day.

She dropped her gaze to the floor. "Yes. Of course it would be my honor. Please, be my guest."

No sooner were those words out of her mouth than the strange, horrid, feeling strengthened once more, spreading from the frog like ink from a tipped bottle. She fought to keep from hurling him to the floor that very instant.

( Under the Linden Tree: part 2 (1,420 words) )

(Back to Part One)

(This post is cross-posted to

queerly_beloved)

Preface:

This is in response to the Grimm Brothers tale The Frog King, or Iron Heinrich, specifically, which is not any more "authentic" than any other version you may have learned (regardless of the reputation that the Grimm fellows crafted for themselves, for political and commercial reason). Stories of royal men enchanted into the shape of frogs, who make some sort of deal with young women (or girls), abound all over Europe. But this is the version that bothered me the most. So this is the version I sat down to write an answer to.

Here's the translation that I used as my source material

The biggest thing that bothered me about this version is that the princess is child-coded (the youngest daughter, who weeps uncontrollably over the loss of a plaything), and yet, is objectified for her beauty -- the opening sentence (as translated by D. L. Ashliman) includes this line:

"the sun itself, who, indeed, has seen so much, marveled every time it shone upon her face."

And then, there's the fact that, instead of a kiss that turns the frog-shaped king back into a man-shaped king, it's this (again, the D.L. Ashliman translation):

With that she became bitterly angry and threw him against the wall with all her might. "Now you will have your peace, you disgusting frog!"

And once he's beautiful, like her, she's happy to go to bed with him, and marry him, at her father's command (still child-coded, remember).

(Aside: it's actually one of the folk motifs that pops up now and then, that, in order to free an enchanted someone from an animal shape, the animal body must be killed. But it's often after the talking animal companion/guide and the human protagonist have become close friends: "Please chop off my head, now" "Are you insane? I can't do that!" etc.)

Naturally, as someone who is demi-/asexual, aromantic, and desire repulsed reading this version with the critical eye of an adult turned this fairy tale into something that was not just unbelievable, but a horror story.

So I gave myself this challenge:

Without changing the components of the magical spell, or the span of time the Grimm version covers: rewrite it, and shuffle bits around, so the happy ending actually makes sense, even if the viewpoint character is aro-ace, like me.

Anyway, I thought it would end up being ~5,000 words. It ended up being ~7,500, which is straining against the bounds of "Short Story," and brushing up against "Novella." So I've broken it into chapters.

( Under the Linden Tree (part 1/5; 1,615 words) )

(On to Part 2)

As I'm growing older, the issue of Disability Rights has been of deepening importance to me.

Ever since I attended the local "celebration" of the 20th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act in 2010, only to find disappointment that the celebration was confined to the basement and grounds of the regional Independent Living Center, instead of out in the public, I've wanted a Disability Pride Flag.

After the massacre at the Tsukui Yamayuri En care home in Sagamihara, Japan, six years later, when nineteen disabled inmates were murdered and twenty-six injured (because they were disabled, by the killer's own confession), I was driven to design an actual flag, instead of just wishing we had one.

This is the design I've come up with, and this morning (4 June, 2019) I have officially waived all copyright claims to this flag, and registered it under International Public Domain (right click to copy or save -- same with the how-to images).

Here's the version for more comfortable use on backlit screens:

Update! Important! (13 October, 2021)

Early in July, 2021 it came to my attention that, even with desaturated colors, The zigzag design can, when viewed online (especially while scrolling), create a strobe effect, and pose a risk for people with epilepsy, and migraine sufferers.

Therefore, several people in the Disability community on Tumblr, collaborated and came to a consensus on a new design, shown below:

A charcoal grey Disability Pride Flag with a straight diagonal, central, motif

A charcoal grey Disability Pride Flag with a straight diagonal, central, motif

[Image description: a “Straight Diagonal” version of the Disability Pride Flag: A charcoal grey flag with a diagonal band from the top left to bottom right corner, made up of five parallel stripes in red, gold, pale grey, blue, and green Description ends]

Visually Safe Disability Pride Flag by Ann Magill is marked with CC0 1.0

Along with simplifying the central motif to straight lines, the colors have been rearranged so that the warm colors (red and gold) and cool colors (blue and green) are grouped together. And the brightness of the colors have also been edited so that they radiate more evenly from brightest at the center toward darker in the outside stripes.

Although the earlier version of the flag, with the zigzag motif, still exists, and is still in the public domain (and is therefore free for anyone to use and/or adapt), I believe it is better for communication and awareness that we focus on one version of the flag. I have therefore removed the earlier zigzag design from my image gallery.

Thank you for understanding.

Back in 2005, I tried my hand at writing original, personalized, fairy tales on commission, and one of my first was for a young man with C.P.’s 21st birthday.

First, I met with him at his home, to talk about the story he wanted, and what kinds of themes he wanted. Then, I flailed for about a week trying to pin it down before I realized I could email him and ask for clarification.

This is the reply he sent back:

I think about being a normal hero named Michael. He needs clothes like
fionne. Be like Fionne* but be me with Zena the warrior princess as his
friend. There should be the Lost Boys from Neverland but by another name as his friends, too. No CP in fairy tales.

Xena should need me as a healer after fighting. she needs a friend like me,
too.

thanks.

Mike

And that No CP in Fairy Tales has haunted me, ever since.

I agreed with him, when I met up with him for that first conversation, because nothing stings worse than having that aspect of yourself that marks you apart being treated as “special” and your one defining feature.

But it wasn’t long after I finished that story, and sent it off to him, before I started wondering: Why the Hell can’t we have CP in Fairy Tales?

After all, fairy tales have shepherds, and shipwrights, and kings, and cobblers, and beggars, and merchants, and old women, and young girls, and fools, and wise men -- every class and creed of humanity. And people with (what will later be called) “Cerebral palsy” have been part of humanity since the beginning (it’s a congenital condition that has many causes, results in life-long disability, but is also -- often -- survivable. So there’s no reason for people with the condition to not be part of the world.**

So, a couple of NaNoWriMos ago, I set out to write an original fairy tale with a protagonist who had “C.P.” for myself -- but I never used that term, I just described her as a person: what she could do, what she couldn’t, how she and her family improvised adaptive tools for her, etc., with a healthy soak of genre-appropriate magic for a sauce.

The result was my par-for-the-course 50K word salad. But I think there’s a good story in there, somewhere, that actually works.

Back when I was working on that story, I told myself that I was avoiding the specific term “Cerebral Palsy” because my genre’s setting was vaguely medieval/Renaissance Europe, and the medical term wouldn’t have been coined for another few centuries.

Anyway, the other morning, I woke up with a realization:

But that’s not the reason the phrase “cerebral palsy” should stay the hell out of literary fairy tales, whichever milieu they’re set in.

It’s because “Cerebral Palsy” is a medical attribute. And the medical model of disability (and the medical model of everything, really) sets the individual apart from the world they live in, as broken exception, in need of being fixed. And in Fairy Tales, the characters (and especially the protagonists) are there to represent the human condition for everyone.

So it’s not so much: “No CP in fairy tales,” but “no medical diagnoses” in fairy tales.

But in other genres (particularly in modern forms of literature), where the story does rely on a finely detailed individual (Say, for example: in a "One vs. Society," story arc), actually naming their disability would be better than avoiding the name. Otherwise, it would feel like you're treating it as something shameful, that shouldn't be named.

(And now, I'm wondering if it's possible to write something that is clearly a fairy tale, but set in an industrial, or post industrial world like our own. It's a thought.

*That's Fionn, as in the Irish hero, Fionn MacCumhail, BTW

**In fact, I think the Anglo-Saxon word “crypel” was simply a descriptive term for those people -- like “short,” or “tall,” “fair,” or “dark”; it didn’t get used in an insulting way until the 1600s.

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Ann

February 2025

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Welcome! A ramble about me, and this space:
5 things make a post
5 things make a post
I know I seemed to drop off the face of Dreamwidth for a couple of weeks...
5 things make a post
What I'm (tentatively) thinking for MyNoWri"Mo":
The current kerfuffle over NaNoWriMo has stirred up thoughts and feelings
I've gone and dug myself into an angry mood.
I deleted my NaNoWriMo account, today
What prompted me to start posting to Dreamwidth again
1 of my relatively recent Tumblr posts: Thoughts on why Harry Potter books were Such a Phenomenon
I'm still alive; I've been on Tumblr (under the alias "capricorn-0mnikorn")
Welp, I’ve survived one more trip around the sun 🌎🌍🌞🌏🌎🌌
My own writing: A queered version of The Frog King, or Iron Heinrich (Part 5 / 5)
My own writing: A queered version of The Frog King, or Iron Heinrich (Part 4 / 5)
My own writing: A queered version of The Frog King, or Iron Heinrich (Part 3 / 5)
My own writing: A queered version of The Frog King, or Iron Heinrich (Part 2 / 5)
My own writing: A queered version of The Frog King, or Iron Heinrich (Part 1 / 5)
This morning (4 June, 2019) I have officially waived all copyright to my Disability Pride Flag
Thinking about fairy tales and disability for 16+ years

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Notes, Notings, and Common Refrains

The songs that are stuck in my head

Recent Entries

Sticky: Welcome! A ramble about me, and this space:

5 things make a post

5 things make a post

I know I seemed to drop off the face of Dreamwidth for a couple of weeks...

5 things make a post

What I'm (tentatively) thinking for MyNoWri"Mo":

The current kerfuffle over NaNoWriMo has stirred up thoughts and feelings

I've gone and dug myself into an angry mood.

I deleted my NaNoWriMo account, today

What prompted me to start posting to Dreamwidth again

1 of my relatively recent Tumblr posts: Thoughts on why Harry Potter books were Such a Phenomenon

I'm still alive; I've been on Tumblr (under the alias "capricorn-0mnikorn")

Welp, I’ve survived one more trip around the sun 🌎🌍🌞🌏🌎🌌

My own writing: A queered version of The Frog King, or Iron Heinrich (Part 5 / 5)

My own writing: A queered version of The Frog King, or Iron Heinrich (Part 4 / 5)

My own writing: A queered version of The Frog King, or Iron Heinrich (Part 3 / 5)

My own writing: A queered version of The Frog King, or Iron Heinrich (Part 2 / 5)

My own writing: A queered version of The Frog King, or Iron Heinrich (Part 1 / 5)

This morning (4 June, 2019) I have officially waived all copyright to my Disability Pride Flag

Thinking about fairy tales and disability for 16+ years

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February 2025

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